Text To Speech

Can anyone help me with writing a speech?

Hello, I'm running for a position of treasurer at my high school class and student government since the elections are similar to popularity contests, I was wondering: How can I integrate the humor in my speech? So this is a long history, but to make it short, basically, most of my jokes will be based on Stewie Griffin. For example, leadership, and "Victory is mine." I just need help making my fun and boring speech calling attention to Family Guy Stewie Griffin joked. Thank you soooo much.

You can Stewie Griffin find some jokes and sounds below. Personally I do not think they are funny /

7 Tips to Create a Killer Speech introduction